My story is a little different than Jason’s. As I mentioned in my last post, Jason has been living gluten free for quite a while. I, on the other hand, am just approaching my third month. I have definitely gotten used to eating gluten free, the texture of the food doesn’t really bother me anymore, and the taste of most things is fine. I have found a pasta I like, Bi-Aglut corn pasta. Udi’s makes bread and plain bagels that I love. I am now a big fan of Mi-Del Chocolate chip cookies. These are just some of my absolute favorites; of course I could list many more things, but most of them are on Jason’s list from one of our first posts. So what would I have to complain about?
To be quite honest with you, I feel like I am hitting a wall. I am starting to miss some of the stuff that I ate before I was diagnosed. I now understand why people cheat. Those Pillsbury Bunny cookies for Easter look and smell really, really good. Worst of all, Twinkies are now in three packs for a limited time only. We have been so busy that we have not really had the time to try to cook new things. Being a creature of habit, I find myself eating a lot of the same stuff and right now I am kind of feeling like “how much longer can I keep this up?” My brain and stomach are screaming “no mas!” We want something different and we want what we used to eat. Remember the Twinkies, remember the #9 with Crab Rangoon and fried rice, remember (and this hurts the most) the chicken teriyaki from the mall food court.
I can’t tell you how many times in the past week or so that I have almost mistakenly bit into things that were not gluten free, in fact I almost just ate a piece of a Bunny cookie that was stuck on my finger a few minutes ago.
Oh how easy it would be to just say to myself “come on, what is one non-gluten free meal going to do to you? Really Bill, just go ahead and have just one Twinkie”….STOP!!!!
A few things that you should know about this yoda:
- I knew that I would hit a wall sooner or later- I didn’t think it was going to be this soon, but I fully expected it to happen.
- I am not going to cheat- I have Celiac disease, even the littlest bit of gluten can make me very sick and could reverse the healing of the villi in my intestines (I know, TMI)
- I am not even going to be less diligent about cross contamination; I will still ask all the questions that I need to ask to maintain my strict diet.
I am looking at this “Wall Hitting” as a challenge. I am challenging myself to find the time to cook different things, find new recipes to try, look for different restaurants that I can try, and keep on the course that I have been undertaking successfully for the last three months.
So, if you find yourself careening towards that wall at a great rate of speed, step on the brakes and make sure that you remember why you are taking this course of action in the first place. Take a breath and realize how much better you feel.